Parenting Arrangements with Infants – Where Do I Stand?
Separation is never easy, but separating with a baby brings an added layer of emotional and practical complexity. When a relationship ends during early parenthood, many parents find themselves overwhelmed by the uncertainty around where their baby will live and how parenting time will be shared. These questions can be incredibly difficult to resolve—especially when both parents want to remain actively involved but have very different views about what that should look like.
A Case Study: Sophie, Daniel & Baby Lily
Take the story of Sophie and Daniel (fictional but inspired by the types of cases we see all the time). Their daughter Lily was just six months old when they separated.
Sophie had taken on the bulk of Lily’s care since birth. She was still breastfeeding, and Lily was accustomed to Sophie’s constant presence. When the relationship broke down, Sophie suggested Lily continue living primarily with her, with regular short visits to Daniel.
But Daniel, who had always envisioned being a hands-on father, wanted equal time from the outset. He believed he had every right to be just as involved and felt hurt and shut out when Sophie pushed back.
How the Court Approaches Infant Care
Despite attending mediation, Sophie and Daniel couldn’t reach an agreement. Daniel commenced proceedings in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia seeking shared care.
What followed was a process that surprises many parents when a baby is involved. The Court didn’t simply divide time down the middle. Instead, it focused on Lily’s developmental stage and emotional needs.
Factors the Court considered included:
Lily’s age and feeding needs
Her attachment to her primary caregiver
Each parent’s capacity to meet her daily needs
A Child Impact Report that evaluated how long separations might affect her at that age
The Outcome: Gradual 'Step-Up' Parenting
The result was not an equal shared care arrangement. The Court made interim parenting orders for Lily to live primarily with Sophie, with Daniel spending short, frequent time with her several days a week.
These visits were designed to support a strong bond between Daniel and Lily while minimising disruption to her routine and primary attachment.
As Lily grew, Daniel’s time gradually increased. Overnight stays began when Lily reached 18 months. This wasn’t a judgment on Daniel’s ability to parent—it reflected what Lily needed most in her earliest years: stability, familiarity, and consistency.
Co-Parenting Progress and Long-Term Outcomes
Over time, Sophie and Daniel learned to communicate more effectively. With help from their lawyers and a skilled mediator, they agreed on a parenting plan that reflected:
Their improved co-parenting relationship
Lily’s growing ability to manage longer separations
What began as a stressful dispute ultimately laid the groundwork for better cooperation and a shared parenting approach.
What Separating Parents of Infants Need to Know
When a baby or toddler is involved, shared care usually looks very different to arrangements for older children. Equal time arrangements are rarely suitable for infants, particularly when one parent has been the primary carer since birth.
This isn’t about favouritism or gender—it’s about:
Supporting the infant’s security and attachment
Encouraging both parents’ involvement in a way that suits the child’s stage of development
Structuring time to allow for gradual adjustment and bonding
Shorter, consistent time that increases over time is often the best way forward. For the non-primary carer, patience and flexibility are key.
Get Advice Early
In situations like these, it’s critical to seek legal advice early. Understanding what the Court is likely to do can:
Save time and emotional stress
Help you focus on building a parenting plan that truly supports your child’s best interests
Family law recognises that children grow, change, and adapt—and parenting plans can too.
How We Can Help
If you're navigating a separation with a baby or toddler, or facing a parenting dispute involving infants, you don’t have to go through it alone.
Allison Rowe knows exactly what you’re going through, having personally experienced the painful process of separation and divorce with young children involved.
At Allison Rowe Family Lawyers, we provide clear, compassionate advice grounded in years of experience. We help parents:
Understand their options
Navigate the Court process where needed
Work towards sustainable, child-focused solutions
Whether you're the primary carer or the parent seeking more time, our goal is to support a parenting arrangement that puts your child first.
Separation is hard. But with the right support and guidance, you can find a path forward that works for everyone—especially the little one at the centre of it all.